Jim Chastain
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Da Cubs

From time to time, I've mentioned that I'm a Chicago Cubs fan. This is, in ways, a painful admission, because Cub fans are a sorry lot, in the sense that people are always feeling sorry for them. And for good reason: they're the team that's gone the longest in a major sport without winning a championship. For the Cubs, it's been one hundred years since they last won the World Series. Ouch!

Generations have come and gone without seeing the Cubs in the World Series, much less winning it. This year, however, seemed to be different. For this year, the Cubs truly were the best team in the National League. They won more games, they were strong in pitching, hitting, defense, coaching, bench, etc. Other Cub teams had made it to the playoffs, but this was the best team they'd had in the last thirty years.

With my health in jeopardy, I began wondering if I might actually see the Cubs win it all before I die...  Fat chance.

After the Cubs got killed in their first two playoff game against the Dodgers, people began telling me they'd been "thinking of me. You know, because of the Cubs."

But I told them I was okay. After all, in this crazy world we live in, there are certainly more important things to worry about right now than baseball. I mean the economy is tanking, our country is hated by a large part of the world, nobody reads anymore, we've got a big election coming, our education and health care systems are in trouble, and as a gender guys seem pretty lost. 

Besides, I had to ask myself, do we really want the Cubs to win the World Series? Don't we all need an underdog to root for, a Charlie Brown who never, ever, gets to kick that football before it is pulled away? Don't we need a reminder that this world is horribly flawed, that for some people things never work out, that no matter how much you deserve it you may never come out on top? 

I'm not sure I want to live in a world where our most lovable loser suddenly wins it all. Just look at what happened to the Red Sox. They became a Yankees clone after their big win.

I think I'd rather be the one who's out there cheering for the little guy, the underdog who has one hundred years of pressure on his shoulders but never quite comes through. It makes the world more interesting, less cookie cutter crazy, more real.
Oct 5, 2008 | no comments | [Add a comment]

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Jim's recent non-movie articles:

World Literature Today

January 08 - poem - On Remembering Poetry

Oklahoma Today

May 08 - poem - Two Guys in Therapy
April 09 - poetry article

Oklahoma Gazette

03-05-08:    Mongrel Empire Press 
02-20-08:    Antje Duvekot


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List One
Top Ten Advantages of Being a One-Armed Man

#10  Watching people react when I ask, "Say, can you lend me a hand?"

#9    Don’t have to join in on the hand motions to Village People’s song, Y.M.C.A.

#8    Weight loss without the burden of dieting.

#7    Improved empathy for villains in The Fugitive and The Third Man.

#6    Awkward social situations make for great writing material.

#5    No longer feeling conflicted when asked to clap in religious settings.

#4    Flipping off people with my phantom right hand.

#3    After the speaker says, “all in favor, raise your right hand,” no one ever knows how I voted.

#2    Can finally end my grueling second career as Mr. November on the yearly “Legal Hunks” calendar. 

#1    Nobody ever asks me to help them move.
List Two
Top Ten Ways to Help Jim's Memoir Survive and Thrive

#10 Trash all other self-help books and memoirs, even if they're great "Yeah, I know it won the Pulitzer, but it's still crap compared to I Survived Cancer...".

#9 Ask Jim to come speak at your church. In this way, he can honestly say he went to church this week without having to sit through a sermon.

#8 Take out a small loan and buy 1000 or so copies of the book.

#7 Tell people the book is the latest installment of the Left Behind series.

#6 Have Jim and his friends come do a house concert of readings and music. Make sure to have lots of food, because reading sure does make a body hungry. Oh yes and wine always helps with the poetry.

#5 Call up your favorite bookstore once a day and ask if they have a copy of that I Survived Cancer book. If they don't, say something like, "Oh-my-Gawd, this store is like really sucky!" in your best college co-ed voice.

#4 Take a copy of the book to Chicago. Find out where Oprah's castle is. Drive there, wearing camouflage or something that blends with the local terrain. Swim across the moat, avoiding the hungry crocks. Crawl beneath the motion sensors, but don't step on the memoir-writer mines. Run up to the castle wall and toss a book over. Then run like crazy back to your car and get the heck out of there.

#3 Call up your Hollywood contacts. Explain to them why they must do a movie based on the book, because so many great films have one armed men... The Fugitive, The Empire Strikes Back, Toy Story, Forrest Gump, Kill Bill, Schindler's List, Dr. Strangelove, etc.

#2. Tack up posters at all your town's bookstores, hospital gift shops, and coffee shops, advertising the formation of a new book club and it's exciting new selection, I Survived Cancer, But Never Won the Tour de France. You don't even have to show up for the event!

#1. Well, you could actually buy it, read it, and then pass it on.
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